The courage to contact people is not only in the ability to contact, but who you contact. The greater your courage the higher the person you can contact and the person you contact can make a difference in your life.
That frequently means contacting someone:
- who can hire you
- who can supply you with the help you need
- who can make a phone call on your behalf and make a difference
- who can mentor you or teach you
So the stakes are very high in terms of who you contact. So why do some people take forever to do it?
Being turned down is one part. Looking foolish is another.
But if you have a dream that's kept alive by being untested on a shelf, you can keep it in a creatively induced coma by never showing it to anyone. By never pressing "Send" on your email or "Call" on your phone.
If you never put what you have in front of people, it stays safe. If it's a dream of yours, it's part of who you are.
It's how you see yourself. You don't get emotional about all your projects, do you? Some things are kept in a super secret area of your heart. You won't lose what you don't risk - right? If you don't count losing by never trying, sure.
OK - wait a minute. You didn't think this was going to be one of those emails where I talk about your dream list and tell you to "just go for it!" did you? lol
Years ago I worked for a dating service. Not like the swiping apps of today. The kind where you come in person for an interview and your palms are sweating.
"Oh my God did anyone I know see me in the parking lot?" "What did I do wrong to get here? "
Having money to join is not enough.
You and I would have an intense conversation.
Some people weren't serious at all.
They were not accepted. Thank you for your time.
Which brings us to a deeper reason why some people don't contact dream clients. And it has to do with how you see other people.
Many people have big dreams mapped out in great detail.
They can rattle off dollar figures, milestones and objects they'll own with their newfound wealth. "I want X million dollars, a house with ___ bedrooms, etc. They have pictures and vision boards and affirmations galore.
But ask them how much mapping they've done for the people they care about most in their life and it gets quiet.
I'm not talking about "money so I can provide for."
You're contacting someone - another human being.
Contact courage isn't just about making a big move or getting what you want. The person you're contacting needs your best help.
Are you that person they need most?
Have you taken the time to learn more
about what they need and
how you can best help them
before you contact them?
Contact courage is giving first in the face of "no."
Fully knowing your best could be ignored or rejected.
Not just "giving to get."
So when you make your dream list,
don't just make a list of people you want stuff from.
Think about what you'd like to give them
independent from the outcome.
Not every date leads to marriage
Not every sales pitch leads to a sale
Not every email is opened.
But every contact changes us in ways big and small.
If you start thinking about this on a daily basis,
you won't need the tired pep talks
that never last.
Be the encouraging contact
instead of just the contact
If someone gives you money,
that money has value that can buy you things.
You don't need to call the person who paid it to you
every time you're about to spend it for the money to "work."
Pay close attention to that because I'm closing the lesson on it.
When you talk to someone for any reason,
try to leave them with gifts.
Self doubt can sometimes just be doubting the shell of who you are.
I don't think you doubt what's in your heart of hearts.
You just don't want your heart broken.
Welcome to the club! lol
But if you want your heartfelt dreams to be cherished by others or at least respected and encouraged, start paying attention to those "others" and their heartfelt dreams.
You'll be surprised at how powerfully your life and those you care about most changes for the better.
Is that "actionable" enough for you? lol
Listen for what no one hears
and people will share with you
what's been left unsaid - until now.